No Toddler Ever Starved from Stubbornness

NOTE: Originally published at Crassparenting.com

It took a fair amount of biochemistry to have my first child, so I wanted to be sure I did everything the right way. After she was born, I was one of those extremely neurotic parents who had to everything 'just so.' I breastfed for twelve months and my daughter never had a bottle of formula. I introduced solid foods at six months. I made my own baby food from organic veggies and fruits. I was sold a bill of goods that good eating habits started at birth. If you took care to make sure your child developed a taste for healthy food from the start, you wouldn't have to worry about them being picky eaters or junk food junkies.

Wrong.

I Told My Child a Bald-Faced Lie After Newtown

Note: Originally published at Crassparenting.com

This was a weekend were I did my best to maintain composure and my usual jolly Christmas spirit. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I felt fragile. I felt that my family was vulnerable. I felt hopeless and sad. I still feel powerless to guarantee safety and protection for my family and friends. A half hour ago I was in the car drop-off line for my son's school. Most of the time, my son takes the bus but I let him sleep in today so I would need to drive him. Apparently other moms felt similarly, because the line was LONG. Our principal had more than the usual number of school staff greeting our kids. There was also an armed police officer there. My son noticed and commented about it. He is a kid prone to worry and anxiety and he asked me, "Are you worried that I am not safe here?" What a loaded question to have with only one cup of coffee in me. How did I answer? I lied through my teeth.

I Will Never Confess to Being Santa

Note: Originally posted at Crassparenting.com


At the bus stop last week after the kids were picked up by cheerful Mr. Ray, the driver of the bus, the moms discussed Santa Claus. My son Patch is the oldest on this stop at 10 years old. The moms asked me if I had told him that there was no Santa Claus. I looked at them as though they had three heads each. “Of course not,” was my reply.

The Spinal Tap Theory of Parenting

When Katie was a toddler, the usual time outs didn’t work. In fact, they often caused her to laugh right in my face. Nice. Measured, natural consequences rarely worked either. When she would hit her baby sister Megan with a toy, I would remove the toy for a short period of time and give it back later. This would not stop the behavior whatsoever. The only thing that worked to stop that hitting was to give the toy a time out for the entire day up on a shelf where she could not reach but still see it. What a stubborn 2 year old!

No More Harried Holidays

I wrote a version of this 2009 for a parenting magazine. My kids were still quite impacted by their autism at the time and I was still in overwhelm mode. Fast forward to today and I am so happy to report that my kids are really doing well. However, I find the stress of the holiday craziness creeping up on me already. Sigh. Old habits die hard. Re-reading this article this morning, I realized that much of what I discussed in 2009 applies to families with young children - ones with and without special needs. Prioritizing what is important to a family's holiday celebration applies to families of all ages. I hope I remember to find joy this season and not focus on what really doesn't matter.

I Hate the Christmas Elf on a Shelf

Bah Humbug! There I’ve said it. It isn’t as though I don’t love Christmas and the whole holiday season, because I do. It is a time where we head back to Chicago to visit our extended families and it is a fun time with the kids. It just seems that the world is conspiring to make this season more complicated and stressful than it needs to be. Well maybe not the world, but definitely my mother.