June, It is Time to Hand in Your White Trash Card

Who would have thought that a mother from McIntyre, Georgia would show more common sense and better parenting skills than a more educated and affluent mother from Long Island?

You Know It is Bad When I Feel Bad for the Prostitute

My husband and I have invested in a couple apartments in an up and coming neighborhood in an adjacent city. By up and coming, I mean it is a place where the recent college graduates come to live because the rents are cheaper, there are fun bars and great restaurants that aren't expensive. A fair number of divorced dads live here too while their ex-wives and children live in a much nicer town just a mile or two down the road.

Around the corner from one of our units has been this Asian 'massage' parlor. We've owned the unit for six years now and that business has been there long before we purchased our unit. This area has a few of these establishments. They have always ticked me off as they are in eye sight of an elementary school and surrounded by residential areas. Bring the whole tone of the neighborhood down. From a financial perspective, it turns off tenants too. But really, it makes me furious little elementary school kids have to walk by this business to go to school each day.

How I Got to Be Two Goats Away From Crazy

My sisters Maribeth and Jennifer, along with my two nieces and nephew, paid our family a visit after we started our adventure in raising chickens. Everyone was enthralled with my built-in petting zoo, especially the kids who were all under seven years of age. Each day, the kids would chase around our ten week old baby chickens and discover some of their free-range hiding spots. One afternoon of some particularly fun times of chicken hide and seek, we ran inside to get some lemonade when disaster struck.

No Toddler Ever Starved from Stubbornness

NOTE: Originally published at Crassparenting.com

It took a fair amount of biochemistry to have my first child, so I wanted to be sure I did everything the right way. After she was born, I was one of those extremely neurotic parents who had to everything 'just so.' I breastfed for twelve months and my daughter never had a bottle of formula. I introduced solid foods at six months. I made my own baby food from organic veggies and fruits. I was sold a bill of goods that good eating habits started at birth. If you took care to make sure your child developed a taste for healthy food from the start, you wouldn't have to worry about them being picky eaters or junk food junkies.

Wrong.

I Told My Child a Bald-Faced Lie After Newtown

Note: Originally published at Crassparenting.com

This was a weekend were I did my best to maintain composure and my usual jolly Christmas spirit. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I felt fragile. I felt that my family was vulnerable. I felt hopeless and sad. I still feel powerless to guarantee safety and protection for my family and friends. A half hour ago I was in the car drop-off line for my son's school. Most of the time, my son takes the bus but I let him sleep in today so I would need to drive him. Apparently other moms felt similarly, because the line was LONG. Our principal had more than the usual number of school staff greeting our kids. There was also an armed police officer there. My son noticed and commented about it. He is a kid prone to worry and anxiety and he asked me, "Are you worried that I am not safe here?" What a loaded question to have with only one cup of coffee in me. How did I answer? I lied through my teeth.

I Will Never Confess to Being Santa

Note: Originally posted at Crassparenting.com


At the bus stop last week after the kids were picked up by cheerful Mr. Ray, the driver of the bus, the moms discussed Santa Claus. My son Patch is the oldest on this stop at 10 years old. The moms asked me if I had told him that there was no Santa Claus. I looked at them as though they had three heads each. “Of course not,” was my reply.

The Spinal Tap Theory of Parenting

When Katie was a toddler, the usual time outs didn’t work. In fact, they often caused her to laugh right in my face. Nice. Measured, natural consequences rarely worked either. When she would hit her baby sister Megan with a toy, I would remove the toy for a short period of time and give it back later. This would not stop the behavior whatsoever. The only thing that worked to stop that hitting was to give the toy a time out for the entire day up on a shelf where she could not reach but still see it. What a stubborn 2 year old!